Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
