We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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