Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
