Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
