office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
