Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
