I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Did I show you my penis last night?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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