her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
