Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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