No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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