I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
