1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She needs sedatives and a leash
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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