He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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