just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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