I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
