Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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