I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
