ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
