Can Purell be used as lube?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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