Sponge bath it is.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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