Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
