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This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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