i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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