omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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