Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
