All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
