So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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