i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
