he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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