ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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