you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
this hospital has no fireball
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
