they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
