where does the pee come out of this thing
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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