can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she pinky promised me she was 18
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
