It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
