So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
