i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
