he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
