You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
