i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
