me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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