I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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