Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
