Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
