Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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