He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
