We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
