She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
