I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
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