The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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