Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
