just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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